Thursday, May 31, 2007: last day of the sem..
so how has it been like for the past 13 weeks of uni? i guess its been really eventful.. with its good times and even more good times, sharing and having fun and studying together and making new friends and even going for lectures going for convos, ocf events, hanging out in the middle of the night, trekking over to currie and what's more, laughing at seaweed jokes. (: it was fun. (:
and now exams are drawing to a close! ): i made a timetable for my study week this week and it is looking very packed. alot of studying to do ): not so interesting i guess. so just to say, i wont be blogging very much (as i already havent been) these weeks to come. so..
sayonara people!
see you in 3 weeks. (: hopefully i finish exams with a huge smile on my face (:
a shout of praise.
11:37 PM
Tuesday, May 15, 2007: exams :S
mmm, looks like i'll be camping out in the library for the next month or so! exam timetables are out and although i think its quite crappy that i end very late, i think my timetable can and will work out to my advantage after all!
sat 9 june -
microeconomics
jap
mon 11 june-
FA
wed 20 june-
rise of the capitalist economy
so as you can see, i have 3 papers cramped up at the start of the exam week and 9 days to study for econ hist. ): i end on the second week! sigh, but oh well, i can concentrate on the first 3 first then cram for econ hist in 9 days..
in the meantime, i shall start listening to my FA lectures online and try to understand it. not very enticing.
a shout of praise.
8:00 PM
Sunday, May 13, 2007: itune songs.
its so funny how much just listening to worship songs can minister to me, no matter what time.
i will live a child in awe of You.
i'll be serving in crossroads kids in church next sem. i'm very excited to teach these kids because i love kids and i want to guard and protect them with the word of God. i want to be able to see these kids grow in His love. seeing their innocent and joyful faces, you just want to reach out and hold them. at the same time i also feel very inadequate because i am afraid of teaching the kids the wrong stuff, especially since they are at the learning age. there's so many things that i feel that makes me think i'm incapable. but i believe God can equip me. so i guess pray for me as i take this step of faith to want to serve Him in this area of ministry in church.
i was thinking about how blessed we are to be given the right to be called God's children in the bible (John 1:12). God then is like our Father, He cares for us, He teaches us, He loves us. He will gladly do anything for us. as a child, there are so many things that we do not yet understand, but God gladly blesses us with wisdom, God uses circumstances to teach us. as a child, we are unstable, we are weak, but God holds us by our hands and guides us. as a child, we are stubborn, but God gently unveils our eyes to see the goodness of other things, ways and methods and God also disciplines. as a child, we are incapable, but God equips us. as a child, we face many trials and problems that we dont know how to overcome, God protects and guides us. as a child, we need to be dependent, and God has given us His word and the Holy Spirit. God undoubtedly has done so much for us. my God is respectable, and i
am in awe of Him.
You hold the universe, You hold everyone of us.
i recieved an sms today from my mom, about how the doctor gave my grandfather 1-2 weeks at best to live. looking at the sms, i cried. thinking back to how indifferent i was to my grandfather and his illness last year, even when i was at the hospital, i felt so terrible. its when things are just about to come to an end, only then can i feel how much of an importance my grandfather is to my life.
i look at my grandmother and how no matter how tired she is, she is still so devoted to my grandfather, she takes care of him everyday, and despite his illness and his approaching death my grandmother can still be so cheerful in the midst of the chaos in family. i remember the day my great-grandmother died and how much and bitterly she cried, and looking at her now, i admire her for her courage in the face of the death of her husband. i admire her even more for her love for God, that she can still be joyful in the hope and knowledge that my grandfather can go to heaven.
how i wish that i had spent more time being cheerful about going to visit him, instead of finding it a chore, that i had been less self-centered about myself. but the one thing that i am thankful for, it is that he has become a christian and i trust that he is going to heaven after he dies.
You go before him, You shielded his way. Your hand upholds him, i know You love him.
into Your hands i commit again, for You Lord.
today in service was the song "with all i am", and there's a long history with me and this song. this song was the song that i sang in response for my final decision to follow God. this song was the commitment i made with God. singing this song today was a painful reminder of the many times that i have disobeyed Him since i sang this song. is the reason for my living all about Him? have i been walking closely with God? have i really been trusting Him all these whiles, through my ups and my downs? how many times have i thank God for the blessings and even the trials He has given me? do i still stand and say that i will worship Him despite all my inadeqacies and incapabilites?
i will be still and know that You are God.
a shout of praise.
12:20 PM
Saturday, May 12, 2007: annoyed.
i'm getting very annoyed that the stupid income statement doesnt match the worksheet and the general journal. GAH! this is getting highly irritating and i need a break off accounting and i cant because i dont have time to solve the problem. ): bleh. by the way if you're doing sam's surf shop the figures (<-) are probably wrong, something's wrong with the net profit. ):
i'm getting very tired of school and i'm enormously drained already from studying (although i think i didnt do much studying) and i want to just get this term over and done with but there's so much to study for that i'm afraid that by the time exams come i wont be ready for it. ): its a terrible day.
except, discipleship went well. (: went back to st marys today to visit jeannie in the BH. it was good talking to her and glenna again, sharing about our problems and our qt. quite the refresher in the middle of such annoyance.
and today i found out that my student card could open the automatic doors of the econs&commerce building :D it was the coolest thing ever! (its normally locked on weekends, only if you're a business student you can enter)
anyway. i shall declare the rest of today an accounting-free day. (there isnt very much of today left so i dont feel very bad). i shall start working on my micro tutes. bye (:
a shout of praise.
9:29 PM
Friday, May 11, 2007: mishmash.
i wonder how much my friends actually mean to me and how much i've been a friend to them. looking at today, i can only say that my friends actually make the world to me and there's so much difference when they are around.
today was one of the better days i've had so far in uni. i had my micro lecture followed by econ hist with joseph pang, siwei and malcolm (and dan in micro and jolyn in hist) and it made lectures alot more enjoyable. i'm quite excited because next sem joseph, siwei, jolyn and i are going to be doing the same 4 units (that's if me and joseph dont change intro to law) and that means i have friends! so amazing how God has provided me so much with the things i'm so insecure with. i think without my friends i wont be able to function.
but then when i think about it, sometimes i wonder if i'm actually thinking of what i can do for them instead of what they are doing for my life.
oh well. other than that, i had a good jap test and an interesting discussion during my econ hist tute and my assignment group for fa was quite productive, we're almost done with it so much in advance! (: i'm really happy.
i think so far my grades have been quite acceptable although i'm quite disappointed with my lack of interest in my studies. i thought studying would have been alot more interesting since i'm doing subjects which i like, but it seems like the more i study about it the more repelled i get. but i thank God with the amount of grace He has shown me through my grades. sometimes i dont know how to explain it to my friends. i guess its the way that i ask and want to compare results that makes me seem rather proud about what i got. then when i try to explain that i didnt really study much and it wasnt my own studying that helped me achieve this grade, but by His wisdom and grace alone. but then my pride in a way has already negated whatever point i was trying to prove. blah. something i really have to work on.
other things aside, it was judy's birthday today! happy birthday dear girl (: you're officially an adult! not a teen anymore! i pray that God will continually use you in His small but mighty ways and He will bless you and use you to be a light to His people, especially in OCF (: thank you so much for your love in my life and i thank God that He has sent you to be such a blessing in my life! i pray that God will use you to bless the other people around you too! love you dear!
and chin wee's too! i dont think he's be reading this anyways. so i wont bother wishing him happy birthday on my blog. :P
anyways. i've been quite drained recently, less hyper and less enthusiastic. mm. i wonder if its the lack of sleep i've been getting. perhaps. i think i should go sleep now. its rather late. but before i go, some happy/sad news to announce (depends on where you are) i might be going home this july! (: yay! i think i have quite a few friends to hang out with when i go home! good news (:
a shout of praise.
12:00 AM
Wednesday, May 9, 2007: わたしは…
crap i've only just remembered this morning that i have a jap in class essay tmr and i hardly prepared for it. thank goodness i have very little classes today and a three hour break so i can prepare for the test, and thank God its an open book test so i can just copy over the answers. phew! not the best work ethic but i forgot! ): need to be more organised.
i'm considering dropping work next year. quite a pity with all the extra money that i'm earning, but blah. i dont really have time anymore. more urgent need to prioritise especially with so much responsibilities on my hands now. mm.
OOH. I WATCHED SPIDERMAN 3 LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO (TIMES A MILLION) GOOD! :D:D
the guy who acts as harry osborne is SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO CUTE! well when he was good anyways (:
and. mmm. i'm wondering what i got for micro and hist. both hasnt come out yet and i'm pretty nervous. and. oh yes. 1 mth till end of sem exams! need to start cracking on the books. darn. ):
a shout of praise.
1:25 PM
Monday, May 7, 2007: monday blues.
i've never been so demoralised before. stupid driving lessons. i almost want to give up on learning how to drive. today i was scolded until my driving instructor gave up scolding me and just shook his head and said "kristi, what am i going to do with you?" and it was such a crappy day because,
1. i forgot to bring my learner's permit, there were police officers (luckily we didnt get caught)
2. i kept stalling at every stop sign
3. i almost got knocked down because i keep forgetting to look left and right at every junction
4. i keep forgetting how to do a hill start (but thats because the stupid handbrake wouldnt go down, and when i do eventually get it to go down i forget to push it down all the way before letting go and the car stalls again)
5. i always forget to look in the rearview mirror before i break
6. i forget to slow down when i turn into a different lane
7. i drive crooked and my driving instructor calls me drunk
8. i always release my clutch too early
9. i almost knocked into a parked car along the street because i took so long to look at my blind spot
10. i try to go slow but then my driving instructor keeps telling me to change gear and i end up speeding
11. i realise i cannot parallel park because i dont know how to reverse properly
12. i do know that when you drive around a bend you follow the curb as a guide and you go as close to it as possible, but then i'm so scared i'll drive up the curb and i dont know how much of the wheel to turn so i dont turn that much and i end up cutting into the next lane where cars are going into the opposite direction. and i get scolded again.
you know, it was so bad today when he gave up on me that i felt like crying and giving up too just then. i have so many mistakes, and i know all of them, but when i'm on the road, i just forget them all and i panic and everything just goes wrong. i want to give up, really. i dont want to drive anymore.
but when i was sitting in the back seat and the other student took over, something reminded me, "Jesus never gave up on what He came to earth to do. He wanted to give up but He didnt." so why should i give up? this is only a minor setback, and i already feel so demoralised. what about the big things God has called me to do?
i dont want to give up halfway.
a shout of praise.
5:29 PM
Sunday, May 6, 2007: lunch @ kings park
we made our own picnic lunch and went to kings park after service! more pics soon (: going for sports now. hehe. byee!
a shout of praise.
2:37 PM
Saturday, May 5, 2007: bored in the library
i'm in the uwa library now waiting for my fa assignment group to appear. seriously. guys never make an effort to come early. haha. nah, its just me i guess, always early (:
anyway, i'm uber bored and everyone doing proper work and i bet i'm the only one using a library computer to surf the net; its as if i have nothing better to do on a sat than to come to the library to surf the internet when i have a perfectly up and working internet at home which i can use. sigh. i dont even know what i'm doing in school on a sat, but i suppose work is work. (: i hope i can do well in this silly unit which i dont even really like.
i realise last night that what i got for my fa midsem was actually quite good already, considering that i didnt study. i got about 60%, credit pass. i'm not exactly very happy about it, but i'm thankful i guess. for something which i didnt really put in effort for, God still blessed me so abundantly. i did better than the people who found it easy, which was quite amazing actually. not to rub it in, but it really shows me how much i've to thank God for, its not by my own knowledge, but by God's wisdom. i guess i'm just really glad i didnt fail.
anyway, they're here! (: shall go off now. spiderman2 on tv tonight (:
a shout of praise.
1:25 PM
Friday, May 4, 2007: because You made me believe.
"greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends." John 15:13
i have been slowly coming to terms with the fact that Jesus laid down His life for me. He did the thing that He didnt want to do, He suffered the humiliation on the cross, He hung there while everyone insulted Him and mocked Him, He was pierced and flogged over and over again, it was His love for me that held Him there. It was my sin that needed to be cleansed so that i can be reunited with God. He made the way for me to be able to return to the Father, He protected me from the wrath of God. He was the real-est friend that i could ever have.
"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believe in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16
How deep the Father's love for us - Philips, Craig and Dean
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He would give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the Man upon a cross
My guilt upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no powr's, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
***
i havent really been blogging, never have time to stop to reflect on the busy moments of my life. however the workload has been decreasing, my mid sems are over and most assignments are handed in already. i've only got 1 more assignment left and the rest are tests and the final exam. i really hope i do well. my grades arent exactly fantastic, with the exception of the fa assignment, i'm not very pleased with how i'm going.
one of the few happy things that have been happening this past week was the time that i spent catching up with people from home. was good i guess, hearing voices which were so familar. my life have become so perth-ified this past few months. come to think of it, its already been like 3 months! how quick!
oh, and i might be going home after all this coming holidays, the odds are like 50-50. i've been starting to miss home quite a bit. (: so many things to catch up on, people, church, family especially. i think if i go home i might want to stay longer at the end of the year, might stay to find work and perhaps go for ocf convention and a road trip (: we'll see. so many things to do! hehe. ah. how nice (:
and so my life continues. (:
a shout of praise.
11:44 PM
we made our own picnic lunch and went to kings park after service! more pics soon (: going for sports now. hehe. byee!